Letter to Sue - March 1968

I lived in London for eighteen months aged 17 and there were dozens of letters exchanged with my family. This is a letter to my sister, Susan, and is an insight into my life at the time.

          c/o Overseas Visitors Club,

          180 Earls Court Road

    London, S.W. 5

       6th March, 1968

   My Dear Sue,

     Many thanks for your terrific letter arrived last night, just after the long dash, frantic rush, push or be pushed, trek from Piccadilly Circus to the Club on my nightly journey to collect my bags full of mail. It was great to hear from you, keep up the good work, James.

     Well, let me tell you all about Groomski. You see, a couple of days before he arrived, I phone the airways to find out which building his plane would be arriving at, either Building 1, 2, or 3 (Heathrow Airport). (SORRY, Sandra, can’t read these two words – can you type them in, please?)  told me Building 3 at 10 a.m. So after spending a sleepless night worrying about my love life, I arose at 7 a.m. to tend my sick friend, suffering from German Measles, to drink, smoke, and cry my silly eyes out (just nerves, I imagine.) It is a long way and it was freezing cold, and I had to stand in the Q for ages for a bus for Heathrow, arriving at 9.10, just in time for more coffee, smokes, and tears. At 10.05, there was still no announcement, so I inquired, only to find that his plane would be landing at B. 1, which is a good walk away. I must have broken the minute mile in my rush over there. In my mind, I could imagine Gerald standing at the airport, which is so impersonal with no one to meet him, etc. Anyway, I found out his plane could only get in at 11.20, just in time for more (yes, you guessed it – c., s., and t.) The poor woman who attended the “Ladies” had me in and out with a weak bladder from all the excitement. To top it all off, after my rush to the building, I had a bad coughing fit, as I am always full of cold, and had to sit down, while a kind old man rushed off for water! At 11.20, I learned that the plane had been further delayed. Anyway, he came through at 12 noon, and I was reduced to a nervous wreck. Then we sped through London, in a chauffeur-driven black Humber Saloon to Gerald’s hotel – it was great!

     Since then we have had a ball. We went to see the Black and White Minstrel Show in Victoria, which was really “out of this world”, have been to some super dinners together, down Carnaby Street, down Oxford and Regent Streets, and am taking him to petticoat Lane on Sunday, and Westminster, Big Ben, 10 Downing Street on Sat. On Sat night, we are going to see Max Bygraves at the Talk of the Town, and on the 24th we are seeing Cliff Richards, The Supremes, The  Foundations, The Amen Corner and many others in a live show, competing for some world title. Next weekend, Sharon, Gerald and I are going up North to Hartlepool to see Aunty Pat for her birthday, and in about 4 weeks, Gerald and I are going to the Lake District , and Scotland for a week. Over Easter, we are going to Devon.

     It is our “4 year anniversary” on the 20th of this month, and we are celebrating by going out to dinner at the “Top of the Tower” (revolving restaurant). By now, you must be dying to know how I feel. Well, to tell you the truth, when I FIRST set eyes on him, the first thing that went through my mind was, “Cliff, how I wish it was you.” Since then (I knew it would happen) I have thought that I was falling for him all over again, but have to first see Cliff to find out how I do feel. The way I look at it now, Gerald can offer me a life-time of happiness and love, and all Cliff wants is a good time, and NOT a wife. Still, I am very young. The sod hasn’t written to me since the 19th Jan…, and don’t tell me that the Merchant Navy doesn’t have facilities for sending  even post cards off at every stop they make.

     We went to see Granny and Grandad Bill on Sat. Well, I have yet to meet such a bitch, and that’s putting it mildly. Of course, they both loved Gerald, and he took her a little gift from home, and then she turned round and said to me, “And what have YOU brought me?” – “I need new slippers, you know. This is from Gerald, not from you.” I told her I needed new slippers, too. These are a few of the remarks she made: “You seem to get fatter, and don’t lose much weight.” (Yet if I refuse to eat, she cries.) “Why didn’t I get one of these?” (Mom and Dad send me a key ring with a little picture of them in it and I had just given her a photo of Mom and Dad that they sent her!) To Grandad Bill at lunch, “You NEVER tried to make anything of yourself when you were young; that is why you are where you are today.” Grandad Bill bought her a cocktail cabinet for Christmas, and she says, sarcastically, “All very nice for HIM – it doesn’t dry my washing, though!” (She wanted a spin dryer.)When I said we were off to see Aunty Grace, she said, “She always has to go off and see Grace, you know, Gerald – WHY I don’t know.” (If it wasn’t for Aunty, when we returned from the Continent, we would have been sleeping at the Station.) “We don’t see much of Sandra.” (No bloody wonder!) “When you write to me, tell me what you and Gerald want to eat – I don’t know.” (So he and I had Vesta Chicken Curry.) I daren’t tell her that I had heard from you or Mom – but it slipped out, and she was so indignant that SHE hadn’t heard. At Xmas time, Aunty Eileen usually sends a parcel of chicken, ham, peaches etc. – all Aussie produce – this Xmas, she received 6 tins of peaches only so she sat down and wrote a STINKING letter to Eileen – the next day, the other half of the parcel arrived…Enough of her.

     Aunty Grace, Uncle Alf, Ian, Margaret and Dave have liked Gerald very much and she really laid on a marvelous tea. We had fresh-baked ham and pineapple, masses of assorted salads, chips, with her lovely fresh bread and salty butter. Afterwards, there was a beautiful trifle, full of sherry and topped with loads of fresh cream, then chocolate Swiss Roll and apricot gateaux. They are super people really. Gerald and I have been invited to M. and Dave’s to spend a weekend soon.

     Anne Friemann and I eventually got hold of each other. She left her phone number and I phoned her – gee, Sue, she sounds really super. Jean, Anne and I are having lunch together one day this week for me to meet her, she was really friendly. The first thing she said was, “Gee, you make me so homesick – you sound JUST like Sue!!!”  By the way, those table mats you sent with G., are they for Jean or Anne – I surmised they are for Jean (I hope so, because I phoned her and told her I had something for her from you.) Will let you know the proceedings at lunch.

     Eve arrived back from Germany on Sunday, looking extremely brown and healthy, with as beautiful a figure as ever. George should be getting back from Ireland today I think; she is looking forward to seeing him. Haven’t seen Lou for quite some time. He is in the TV business, you know (don’t get me wrong – he’s REPAIRING them!)

     Gerald is moving into his little flat maybe on the 15th of this month. At present, he is still in his hotel in Cromwell Road; very nice it is, too – he has a double room at single rates because of some mix-up. He like the Club.

     Just before Gerald came, I was going out with a chap called Wayne, who is from New Zealand, and hellava nice, pots of money as he works on the rigs. He got very serious, but I told him all about Gerald coming. Gerald and I have made an arrangement, that I can go out with whom I like and he too- but he doesn’t want to know – I DO! Anyway, Wayne can’t stand all the time I spend with G. and he as he loves me and wants me to go to Greece with him, all expenses paid. Then there is this chap Clive, from Australia, who is soft and so sweet, if I told him to jump off Big Ben, he’d say, “Now or later?” and every so often he declares his love for me – he says, “Sandra, you KNOW I love you, why do you take advantage of me? PLEASE come out with me – I’ll even buy you a pineapple yoghurt!”!!!!! (I have a pash for pineapple yoghurt!) Then there is a dishy chap called Don, and a girl called Sally, and I, were both in the running for his affections, and then they went and got engaged, so I drifted off. They broke up and I was back, and we made a date to see Dr. Zhivago for Monday night – then they made up again. So naturally, I thought the date was off but apparently last night, he gave Sharon the once over at the Club, as I had stood him up, and he had bought the tickets and everything. Such is life.

     Last night we went to see Sharon’s cousin, who is 37, and has been living with Reg for about 15 years. They have a daughter aged 12, called Sara. I have yet to meet such a happy couple; honestly, it is fantastic. Mary is a dab hand at everything; they re-did their whole flat in stained wood, she paints and sculpts (real beatnik types); Reg is an artist, she can bake anything from koek-susters to home-made, English type brown bread. It’s terrific. Reg is about 65!!

     Have you found anywhere to stay yet, Sue? It is worrying me now; do think about going to Mom and Dad’s. I know the prospect doesn’t sound much good (I would have difficulty now I think of living with them) but at least it will be a roof over your head, and save you a bit of money. Cheer up a bit, girl, how are your teeth feeling? Hope you have decided about your job, too. When do you think you will be off to Durban? Please keep me up to date on the happenings.

     Your Graham (by the way, you say, “your Cliff” – gee, I wish I could call the lousy worm “MINE”) sounds really super. Gerald has told me all about him, a real ball of fire. Just one thing, Sue, please don’t let him use you the way Cliff used me. It is so easy to say so, I know, many times I have thought, “It’s up to him from now on – I’m sick of running,” – yet the moment I laid eyes on him, I just melted. But if you enjoy his company, and he enjoys yours, and you have a good time together, by all means, continue his friendship, as well as going out with all your other “beaux”. Make the most of every minute! Saturday night was “D Night”. I think Gerald had an inkling of Cliff before he came (you know how news travels) and some chaps mentioned it over a drink at home. I just COULDN’T deceive Gerald, Sue, and I made a clean breast of the whole thing, and felt much better for it. The first thing he said was, “I could KILL the bastard for hurting you; he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Since then, we have spoken about him quite openly, and discussed his return etc., and even have had a laugh over it, but now he knows EVERYTHING. So now I wait for June to bring him home, “Sailor, stop your roaming…” But anyway, “All the nice girls love a sailor…” “Because they know what sailors are” doesn’t apply – I do know!!!!

     Yes, Gerald has grown up a lot, in more ways than one, and me too – he has noticed a big change in me (not only my weight – I am still dieting!). When I think how narrow-minded and petty we were to look down our noses on you and your sinful friends, I could honestly throw up – (where have I been hiding all my life?)

     Do Mom and Dad know about Cliff? Will you put a few things right for me? Mom and Dad persuaded me to come over here: now I am here, getting all sorts of messages from Gerald, from friends telling me that I must go home – what does everyone WANT of my life, for Pete’s sake? Gerald says you say I must go home with him, Michele writes and says my folks are disappointed with me that I don’t do anything they want of me, and also to tell me to “watch it” – whatever that might mean. Yet they haven’t come right out and said, “Come home” – not once. I suppose it is a matter of pride before anything. If I go home, Dad will have to pay the fare, because I don’t have that sort of money, but this is the rough plan that we have thought out, Sharon and I. (All this if Cliff and I don’t materialise.)  We are going to Spain at the beginning of May for six weeks, and then Sharon is going to meet her German boyfriend from Chingola, in Germany. We are coming back to London, and are then going to the Beer Fest in Munich in September/October, maybe spending a week in Vienna, as it bucketed down all the time the last time we were there. Then we’ll get a cheap £80 flight to Jann Smuts, go to Durban and see you, if you are still there, and she has relations in Pretoria, take a train to Salisbury to stay with Marian for a week, and with Sharon’s relations on a farm for a week, and then home for Christmas. What do you think? Gee, Sue, I don’t feel quite ready for home, I don’t think; it’s so final once you are home. I just know I’ll want to come back, but still, maybe then I’ll be ready. All I want is to be a model daughter for Mom and Dad.

     Hell, Sue, poor Mrs. Groom. When I first heard about her, I cried solid for three days. I love her just like my own mother, and poor Gerald is heart-broken – he can’t even discuss her without breaking down. The thing is, he is so helpless so far away, and you always feel repentant too late, just in little things, like kissing her hello or goodbye, or fixing something for her when she wanted it, or sitting and talking to her, the way she always wanted him to. That lady should have been a nun, Sue, I will never meet another woman like her; she lived and breathed good for everyone, and I have never heard her say a bad word about anyone. Please pray for her, I do.

     Gerald tells me sadly, “You would like Graham – he is big and has curly hair just like Cliff.” Cliff sounds very much alike, actually, says what he pleases to whom he likes. I have known him to tell a girl straight out that her nose is too big or something, or that he never did like her. But Pride – I have yet to meet someone with so much pride – in more ways than one – but if he was out of the street with 1d. to his name, he wouldn’t ask ANYONE for ANYTHING.  Gerald knows now that Cliff is a “tough guy” – and he jokes and pretends to be hard like him. It’s really quite funny.

     Jean really worships you, you know, Sue. She and I both think you should definitely take writing seriously. We often have a natter about you.

     Cliff had a fight one night, I must have told you, in the street with a chap called Dave Anderson from S.A. who has a record of manslaughter – well, I was nearly in hysterics and he spent the night in jail with his face all beaten up. Enclosed is a cutting: will you PLEASE send it back? Isn’t it funny how news in a paper sounds so callous and all wrong, until you know what is going on – what happende? (PLEASE EXCUSE MY TYPING – I KNOW ITS SHOCKING, also my spelling etc. I do know how to spell, it is just that I haven’t time to dash back and correct all my errors.)

     I have stopped all booze completely – haven’t had any for a week (except when Wayne and I went to the Cromwellian – fab club – I had advocaat) and I do feel much fitter. Gerald is making sure that I eat decent meals, get plenty of sleep, and has put me on vitamins, and insists on buying me some clothes to wear.)  He’s a honey, really. I do feel slimmer for not drinking, but must weigh myself first.  I have been given a super blue denim bikini by a girl at work to wear on the beach in Spain, with little pockets on the back of it. Isn’t it awful – all the weight I put on, and not an ounce on the old titties – isn’t it a crying shame??????? You and Mom took all my share, it certainly isn’t good enough; where does one go to complain about these things?

     Do you think that you can get closer to someone by being further away from them? With you especially, and with Mom, too, I find I can say much more (perhaps it is because I won’t get a “clip around the ‘ear’ole”) – but I think so.

     We will take your advice on Spain, and are going to write away to book, a place like the Regina is as cheap as camping, seeing you have to eat sometime anyway, as well as having a bathroom, and a bed to kip in – last time we got back, I couldn’t sleep in a bed. Crox got as far as dragging his ruck-sack into bed with him to put his head on: “I can’t sleep without buckles in my ears anymore!!!” He is a great guy, Sue. He gave me a hiding for smoking, so naturally, I don’t smoke near him anymore. Koos went home to Joburg last week, and I sobbed my heart out: before it was always “Us Four” – and it will never be the same now; he is all keen on this girl and wants to marry her, yet we had such a ball on the Continent together. I love them both like brothers – what a pity you can’t bring the past back sometimes?

     Glad you like the sound of my best buddy – do you know what is already worrying us? If her parents have moved to Rhodesia by next Christmas, she will have to see them for a while, if not stay permanent, and then we will be parted!!!! She will come and stay with us in Zambia for a while if so. I love her so much, I really do. When we first came to Earls Court, all these well-meaning chaps told us to leave: we were too nice, Earls Court would rub off on us, we’d become big bags etc. One by one they have come and told us that they were wrong – we are still nice girls! Cliff always used to tell me to go home, London was bad for me. Morris Dorsky made a sneaky survey on us at the club (as he thinks we are living a life of sin, no ambition etc.) and he said that not one person he spoke to has had anything but the best to say of us – super, hey?

     Please don’t become hard over this business with Neville, Sue, two wrongs never make a right. Even if he has hurt you a lot, just remember he is human, too, although he is so immature and selfish, and he has a lot of feelings like the rest of us. I sent him a birthday card, you know, and told him to drop a line sometime, but I never heard anything. No matter what he has done, I suppose, even though I may hate him for doing all this to you, he will always be my “brother-in-law” – how proud I was to have a big brother at last! Don’t let this all get you down, Sue, and don’t get to depend too much on the Oude – try coke instead!!! (Just as fattening, mind!)

     Hey, Gerald reckons I am speaking like a pommy, especially in the company of pommies, like Woodcocks, or at work (I introduced him to the girls at work - they loved him.) What can you expect after seven months? I told Granny about a leaving party we had a work, and she immediately asked what I drank. What great satisfaction it gave me to announce, orange juice, and tomato juice. (Off liquor really – good hey?) I daren’t let her know I smoke; she’d think I was hooked on pot or something – so while they all smoked around me, I stuffed biscuits down my face, very bad for the diet!

     Did you like the photo we sent? Don’t I look ghastly, so fat?

     Well, Love, no more news. Hope you haven’t been bored. Please write soon, and God Bless – love to all at home. Chin Up, and write soon.

      Much love,

             Sandra XXXXX